What can I say? I'm on the edge.

I'm so on the edge of losing it right now. I have been battling this depression for weeks now. I know it's trendy to be bi-polar or manic/depressive as I first was identified but I am. The highs are wonderful, the lows are not. On my roller coaster life, this is a definate low. I worry in my sleep. My daughter lost her job (got fired) and doesn't seem to be looking for a new one as actively as I would be, she's got less than $3.00 in her checking account and I don't know how she and Tony will cope. There are resources out there for them, but they have to chase them (unemployement, food stamps, medical cards) and seem to be too "lazy" to do it. This drives me crazy and worry's me.
I've lost several hundred dollars worth of students recently, none of them seem unhappy with studio, just "lazy" "stressed with school" "daughter has basketball" etc etc but I was barely making expenses before and this is a huge loss. I'm being really proactive in recruiting new students, starting new classes, trying to think "out of the box", but it's hard, so so so hard.
We're leaving for Omaha today if I can make myself get ready. Lisette can't come and that's killing me. She and buddies are planning a Thanksgiving here and that's killing me. (I gave her a "care package" with everything for Thanksgiving but the turkey) . Even thanksgiving in Omaha will be smaller as several brothers families will not be at moms. The only Thanksgiving I did not go home, my dad died in the spring and I have this irrational fear that Mom will die if I don't go...told you it was irrational.


Okay, enough whining and wallowing. I did finish Karims stocking, and all the little scarfs for nieces. Working on a scarf for Stefan, as I tossed the modular scarf in the box for Isa, so thought should have something for dad too. I'll work on that in Omaha because it's mindless.
Still working on Lisa's shawl, I think I made an error on row 15 of this repeat and was too stressed to look at it last night, so that will wait until I come home on Monday.
Started a 2nd stocking out of some Red Heart balls in stash, will probably enter that in the Fair. Bought some nice pink and black yarn at YARNS for a dancer hat for Lauren, that I have designed in my head.
Have the Parade hat to work on, since I ripped it out, and will start again. So, I guess I have enough to do in Omaha (Scarf, Parade Hat, Stocking) also taking a skein of Red Heart Variagated and the MD scarf directions for mom, I'll probably start it and then leave it for her.

Okay, got to kick my self in the butt and get going. Trash guys will be here soon and I haven't done litter boxes or trash.

Kim in KCK and any one else who reads this, have a Happy Thanksgiving!